Tricky spills, missed pills: SHIC responds to cond-umms?

February 26th, 2010 | By | Section: Opinion

Dear SHIC,
My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about six months. We always use condoms and practice extremely safe sex. We have also both been tested for STIs at Central Iowa Family Planning and are totally clean. Now that our relationship is well established and we both have clean bills of sexual health, he’s been asking me if we can have sex without a condom, as long as he pulls out before he ejaculates. He told me that pre-cum doesn’t contain sperm but I want to make sure he’s right before we try. I’m also a little nervous in general. Even though I trust him, I’ve never had unprotected sex before. I’d be reassured if you guys could give me some expert SHIC advice!

To Rubber or Not to Rubber?

Dear Rubber Hamlet (Rubber Ophelia?),
This is a sticky issue indeed! And our expert opinion is definitely ‘To Rubber.’ Your boyfriend is technically correct—pre-cum itself does not contain sperm. However, leftover sperm from a previous ejaculation up to 24 hours beforehand can become mixed with pre-cum. While urinating will likely clear the urethra, sperm can be very tricky and stubborn, and it is certainly best not to risk it.
It is also important to know that sometimes people have less control over when they ejaculate than they might think. Even if your boyfriend successfully withdraws before he ejaculates, he might not know if he has already pre-ejaculated. Also, pre-cum can transmit HIV as well as other STIs. In all honesty, pregnancy scares or STI mishaps could ultimately be more damaging to your relationship than a tiny layer of latex. One in seven HIV diagnoses are for people who believed that they were in a monogamous relationship prior to the diagnosis.
While we don’t want anyone to be pessimistic, we definitely want everyone to be pragmatic and proactive making sure that they stay sexually healthy! You can try ultra-thin condoms as well, with five different varieties available at the Sexual Health Information Center. All in all, it’s definitely a smart idea to keep using some type of contraception and protection, as it’s always best to choose the safer option.

Love, the SHIC

Dear SHIC,
This weekend I went to Mardi Gras Harris and at 12:59 in the middle of Like a Prayer I was getting really excited to take a hot swimmer home now that they’re off season! At 1:01 I came to the crushing realization that I’d forgotten to take my birth control pill at 8:00. While I know I can use a condom, I like to use as many methods of protection as possible. It had been a great night, so I put my worries aside, used a condom and had a really good time. But I’ve never missed a pill before, and over a plate of scrambled eggs at A&M, I became nauseous with worry over my eggs! What can I do about my regretful pill mishap at Harris?

Frantic and Forgetful Thrusting

Dear Frantic and Forgetful,
First off, we’d like to congratulate you on your hot hook up, although we hope you had the decency to shave off his tacky bleached or dreaded hair first. Why the eye candy of winter athletics goes to such unfortunate pains to sabotage their own good looks for the sake of their sport is beyond us.
But back to the problem at hand…It’s important to note that every birth control pill is different and you should read your individual pill’s instructions before altering your pill schedule no matter what.
With that said, for most oral contraceptives, if you realize that you’ve forgotten to take your pill within 24 hours since your last pill, you can take it as soon as you remember and resume your regular pill schedule. Many people think that if you miss a pill one day, you should take two at the usual time the next. However, you’re actually supposed to take the forgotten pill as soon as you remember, and take just one pill at your normal time the next day. In the event that you forget to take your pill until your usual time the next day, you CAN take both pills at the same time —just be sure to use another method of contraception until your next cycle.
It sounds like you’re doing this anyway, which is great. Especially if you have multiple partners or are not in a monogamous relationship, you should be using some other form of prophylactic in order to prevent the transmission of STIs. If you have any more pill related questions, definitely come to the Sexual Health Information Center and ask a peer educator, as we have lots more information.

Love, the SHIC

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