Photo by Fanchao Zhu.

3:00 a.m.—Wake up to the sound of gunshots. They’re back again.

3:00 and 5 seconds a.m.—Fully clothed and drenched in ammo belts.

3:00 and 10 seconds a.m.—Decide I have way too many ammo belts on. Take a few off. I bust outside.

9:00 a.m.—It’s the morning and the birds are bumpin’. Damn, I lost track of time.

9:30 a.m.—Find my comrades behind in Rathje lounge, and I ask, “Guys, what the f*ck are you doing in Rathje lounge?”

1:00 p.m.— “Dude, you will not believe who is teaching us hip–hop dance lessons!! Master Chief!” And right as I’m about to go hug Master Chief, I smash my face on the ceiling.

Actual 8:30 a.m.—Wake up faster than little Billy on Christmas day. I’m late for class, but I now face the question that every breakfast go-er knows about. Should I get to class on time, or get Eggs to Order? Stupid question.

8:45 a.m.—Smash my head on the Eggs to Order sign, trying to prove to everybody else in the line that I can touch the ceiling.

9:00 a.m.—Pull up into my class, rolling two miles an hour, so errbody sees me.

9:00–1:00 p.m.—Class, homework.

1:01 p.m.—Lunch, Summer [Fitzpatrick-Keith ’16] cooks me some badass pasta. I highly recommend his cooking.

1:15 p.m.—Get to lab. I’m never late for lab.

4:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.—A mix of basketball and eating. I pretty much black out for the whole time. Or at least that’s what people tell me. I can’t really remember…

8:00 p.m. until I fall asleep—Wrestle/watch Avatar with Zev [Braun ’15].

24/7—Singing. National anthem. Pokémon theme song. Beyoncé. Chistmas carols. You name it.