6:45 a.m. – Wake – Alarm = 75 percent chance of being a Diplo or 1D song. Snooze so I can have a new dream about Zayn coming back.
6:54 a.m. – Hate Apple for putting a nine-minute snooze on their products. Wish I was still rooming with Ham Serunjogi ’16 – he knows how to change these things.
7:00 a.m. – Actually wake.
7:05 a.m. – Call my mom to get tips on what I should wear today. Some days require a video call.
7:06 a.m. – JK. Dress myself. I saw Kanye wear plaid and stripes once so I must be golden.
7:14 a.m. – Outside Gates. Realize I’m not actually at Hogwarts. Must be the tower. Those events this past weekend would have really tripped me up.
7:15 a.m. – Mac Field. Admire the place where I’m privileged enough to live. Almost get a face full of pine needles near Younker – the world is made for smaller people.
7:17 a.m. – D-hall. Three square meals homie, gotta have breakfast.
8:00 a.m. – 12:00pm – Class. Become familiar with the intricacies of oxidative phosphorylation and gavagai (gabuguy?). Wonder if I should really supply Eva Lilienfield ’17 and the Grinnell community an outline of my usually private life.
12:07 p.m. – D-hall. If Marie Hasley is working the scanner, pull a Robin Goodfellow and try to sneak past her. Scan my card even if I’m successful, I guess…
12:09 p.m. – Salad bar talk with Sauce [Tague Zachary ’15] while putting sauce on my salad. Ranch is a sauce, right?
3:16 p.m. – Schedule a pre-reg meeting with my amazing adviser, Liz Queathem, Biology!
5:14 p.m. – Dinner. Same breadsticks… different day. Breadsticks are pretty great, though.
5:49 p.m. – Whoop my woe Ham in a quick game of ping pong.
5:57 p.m. – Take a crack at the biochem daily problem – hot off the JRCEMAIL press.
6:30 p.m. – Head to the Bear. Like walk to the athletic center, not K.O. a Kodiak.
6:37 p.m. – Ask Braedon Bayer ’18 if I can cruise around on his mobile cart.
6:38 p.m. – Cruise around on aforementioned cart – the only true fun I’ve had all day.
6:39 p.m. – Stop cruising before I hit someone. I have the motor skills of one Jennifer Lawrence.
6:45 p.m. – Refocus. Basketball. Get a little better every day. I always look forward to seeing Mike [Porter ’17] pull the classic shiver-shake, drive, “Oreo-in-the-kemps” dunk finish or reverse layup.
8:24 p.m. – It’s my turn to scrape up what few dining dollars I have left to buy everyone in the SLC a big cookie. Run to the Grill(e). Find free cookies in the Bio Commons along the way as a compromise.
8:41 p.m. – Stu(dying)
9:41 p.m. – This just in: Laura Gogg (a.k.a. the G.O.A.T.) says we got the apartment. Shout out , Heavy (Anthony LaMacchia ’16), Trent (Brent LeMoine ’16), Curta (Nick Curta ’17), Paco (Kyle Parker ’17), and Murph (Dylan Murphy ’16).
12:27 p.m. – Hit the sack. Won’t do the same things tomorrow – my life is a party.