Day in the Life

7:30 a.m. – Wake up. Roomie and I will now play some embarrassingly empowering Will Smith. We all want to be in Miami right now.

8:00 a.m. – Run up three flights of ARH stairs, thus completing my week’s exercise regimen at the same time as I arrive to history class.

8:50 a.m. – Walk from ARH to the JRC in the fresh air and sunshine.

9:00 a.m. – Enter the daylight-free SGA offices for the next three hours, sacrificing my body’s need for vitamin D in order to fulfill my SGA office-hours duty. Please come visit me! Monday and Wednesday, 9 a.m. – 12 p.m … I’m lonely …

12:05 p.m. – SGA lunch meeting—pause Pandora in order to address the issues of our campus.

12:15 p.m. – Stare intensely at John Burrows’ beard, then at Mari Guttman’s earrings, then at Peter Henry’s iPhone emails, and finally at Emily Wax’s eyelashes.

1:00 – 2:00 p.m. – Sit and, for a full hour, consider all I could accomplish in an hour.

2:15 p.m. – Biology! Make sea urchins have babies within a controlled environment of CO2! … Oh, the magic of induced procreation …

4:05 p.m. – Dawdle for two hours in several academic buildings/the JRC/Burling/Spanish House attempting to accomplish many an assignment.

6:00 p.m. – Wander aimlessly around the dining hall, moving from salad station to cereal to vegan options to frozen waffle station berries.

6:15 p.m. – Arrive at table, flustered and with an excessive amount of d-hall bowls awkwardly balanced.

7 p.m. – Run to Joint Board with an uncomfortable amount of Golden Grahams in my stomach, where I will take part in addressing the most pressing issues of our campus while staring intensely at John Burrow’s beard, then at Mari Guttman’s earrings, then at Peter Henry’s iPhone e-mails, and finally at Emily Wax’s eye lashes.

9:45 p.m. – Time to get down to business on Burling second … and by business I mean playing, talking [on the cellular], giggling and defying the self-governance of maintaining library etiquette. Yah, I’m that asshole.

12:23 a.m. – Bedtime for bon-zos.